For the past 2 yrs, I've been taken care of sex. I was an intern barely surviving on minimum wage when another intern suggested I check out a web site where you set up "arrangements" with wealthy men. The initial few dates were nerve-racking but exciting – I have a high sexual drive and am attracted to older men – and once I got comfortable with asking for a figure up front, it started in the future naturally.
Being an escort, I frequently earn 10 times more than your day rate within my normal job. The character of the website I use implies that what I actually do sits between straight-up escorting and regular dating; I rarely only have sex with one of these men. They'll take me to dinner and we'll speak about our lives, or we'll see a picture or do karaoke, before having sex. My accountant lists my job as alternative therapy, and that's pretty accurate. So often what these men actually need and want is someone to be controlled by them; the sex is only a vehicle to get at that.
While the financial goal keeps me achieving this, I concern yourself with the result on my emotional health. I planned to give up if I met someone I desired to commit to, but the more I earn, the harder it is to accomplish that. I haven't even come close to date and that can't be described as a coincidence. I regularly have sex with guys who aren't paying, however when I'm using them, I'll often think, "I might be making £400 right now." Separating work and play is hard. It's also physically exhausting as I rarely give myself an evening off. I worry I'm beginning to forget what genuine intimacy feels like, since I'm so proficient at simulating it, but feeling nothing.
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