| (Published: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 14:28:59 -0400) |
| Stopping Bad Breath Bart |
"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."
OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then. It's not something I would say to Attila the Hun during a pre-battle pep rally. But it was not Attila the Hun standing in front of me. It was just my buddy Bart.
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| Author: David Leonhardt |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:31:13 -0500) |
| American pixel advertising site announces launch of www.redneckpixels.com to |
Maine owners Dan Daley (Bubba Dan) and Steve McFadden (Bubba Steve) announce the Grand Opening of www.redneckpixels.com , a pixel advertising website focused towards today’s Redneck market.
Calais, ME -- Dan Daley and Steve McFadden announce the Grand Opening of www.redneckpixels.com , a pixe |
| Author: Steve McFadden |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 17:35:29 -0500) |
| Misspelled Scriptures |
One way to confirm that cyberspace is the great equalizer is to observe the quality of editing that exists ...
I am truly amazed at the mangling endured by the English language on a significant number of sites. It's fair to assume that this malady has its roots in short attention spans during |
| Author: J Square Humboldt |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 20 Mar 2006 13:45:15 -0500) |
| Normally We Do … But Not Today |
For a Christmas present, our children pulled their resources and gave the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly a marvelous little vacation in the eastern hills of Tennessee.
Upon arrival, we were delightfully surprised with all of our children and grandchildren being there as we |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 03 Apr 2006 10:09:39 -0400) |
| A Silent Night — Not At My House |
People say, as they get older their hearing is not what it used to be. I have found this to be true for myself. The older I get, and I plan to get as old as I can, the more I hear noises in the middle of the night. Noises, I might add, that I have never heard before.
I’m not against noise. Pe |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 09 Apr 2006 15:14:27 -0400) |
| Dead-to-the-World Man Walking |
One morning this week, I woke up with a black eye. How I got it still baffles me. I have my suspicions, of course, but some things are better left to themselves no matter how lonely they may get.
In getting older, I have realized certain things are changing in my body. For example, I now find |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 22 May 2006 09:56:05 -0400) |
| The Origins Of Spring-Cleaning, Or Along Came Eve |
I always know when April makes its yearly debut without consulting the calendar because my wife usually says, “Let’s clean out the garage today.” Trust me on this one, it is no April fool’s joke, but someone gets fooled. And believe me, I’m just not anybody’s fool. I’m my wife’s fool.
Somehow |
| Author: Jennifer Carter |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 26 Jun 2006 10:21:07 -0400) |
| It Was Lights Out At The Old Ballgame |
Someone yelling, “Let’s play ball,” officially announces spring. Springtime and baseball seem to go together, as if God created springtime just for the national pastime.
Something about that first baseball game seems to shake away all the gloomy aspects of the past winter. As soon as Old Man |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 05 Jul 2006 15:27:54 -0400) |
| The TOP 50 WAYS to Survive College for the First-Time-Off-To-College Kid |
1. Never miss a meal – you might regret it later that hour.
2. Park your car accessibly close.
3. Don’t park in timed zones (2 hour, etc.) – parking overtime adds up.
4. Don’t park in No Parking zones – parking tickets add up and have to be paid before next semester’s registration.
5. Do |
| Author: Johnnie W. Lewis |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 10 Oct 2006 01:37:12 -0400) |
| What Girls Demand To Hear and The Man Who Become aware of It. |
| There is only one thing man are normally okay at, and it is conversation to whom ever he is attracted into getting what they fancy & to give it up. Any bloke with enough elegance, poise and just the right timing can embrace an passionate lady to go out with them approximately on the spot, & sometime |
| Author: Rachel-Ann Bradley |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 05 Nov 2006 11:27:21 -0500) |
| What is Lube!!! |
| Lube is also referred to as "lubricant" in the sex industry. Lubricant is liquid or silicone based blend used in making the art of masturbation or sexual intercourse better pleasureful, this is done by enhancing or providing a slippy yet very good feeling. The |
| Author: Rachel-Ann Bradley |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:24:43 -0500) |
| Vibes we all women need. |
| A vibrator is basically a a f%*k toy which is used to enhance lovemaking relationships between couples. Vibrators are a great way to have sensual pleasure & enjoy the maximum pleasure of sexlike universe. They are specially designed to stimulate multiple areas of the anatomy simutaneously.
Conside |
| Author: Rachel-Ann Bradley |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:05:38 -0500) |
| Whips and Chains anyone? |
| Bondage can be easily defined as this, persons participating in being tied up or otherwise restrained for some kind of pleasurefulness. Bondage is mostly but not always, a sexed practice among the not so shy crowed. Being sexually turned on by bondage is sometimes known as vincilagnia and is a commo |
| Author: Rachel-Ann Bradley |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 23 Nov 2006 07:50:14 -0500) |
| Queen Gets Hooked on Italian Coffee |
| Ousted by the Republican party after a closely fought referendum(51%) in which the Monarchy is declared an anachronism, the Queen and Prince Consort decide to live out their exile in Italy. The former UK is now known as New English Republican Dominions (NERD). Follow their daily adventures as they c |
| Author: Robert Locke |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Fri, 24 Nov 2006 12:50:45 -0500) |
| Queen Finds An Intruder! |
| Read the humorous adventures of the exiled Queen as she learns to cope with Italian social mores and a complicated political scenario. Ousted by the Republican party after a closely fought referendum(51%) in which the Monarchy is declared an anachronism, the Queen and Prince Consort decide to live |
| Author: Robert Locke |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 04 Dec 2006 08:48:57 -0500) |
| A Youngster Can Show You How To Laugh |
| Have you at all watched kids at have fun? If you are lucky, you will have seen them chuckle eagerly and it was really simple for them to do so. Studies suggest that adults are amused nearly 15 times in a day, though kids chuckle approximately 300-400 times a day. If we were to take in a refugee camp |
| Author: David Hill |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 21 Jan 2007 11:01:11 -0500) |
| The top 10 things you can do with your mouse and not your pussy cat! |
| Most people would agree that a mouse is far more exciting than the average pussy cat.
We have listed some of the top 10 things that you can do with your mouse and not with your pussy.
Let us begin by counting down the top 10.
10 Pussy: You always need to worry about someone to look after your |
| Author: Cassian Davis |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 30 Jan 2007 07:29:36 -0500) |
| Laughing at the Indian Cricket Team |
| Even with top class players, the Indian team loses and loses so here are some jokes directed at them.
Indian cricket is headed for a disastrous World Cup and only those who wish to bury their head in the sand can think that they will do well there. The pitches in West Indies are fast and the play |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:36:21 -0500) |
| Old Phil Propagated A Good Old Hoax |
| It began as all things begin n a long period of boredom with nothing exciting to do. Whoever said, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” knew something of what they were speaking.
As the story was told to me, it went something like this: It was toward the end of January, a long cold January at t |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 04 Feb 2007 21:49:35 -0500) |
| Comedians can now access new online website which helps showcase comic talents |
| Toronto, ON February 4, 2007 – Canada is a land of funny people. Whether it is the experience of bitter cold winters and short summers or living above the most powerful nation in the world and feeling like the younger sibling seeking attention, we have cultivated an amazing community of incredible |
| Author: Top Comedian |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:26:00 -0500) |
| Humor: 18 Similarities Between Women and Computers |
| Have you ever wondered in what way are women like the computers we have at home? Here, I show you how.
Before you read any further, please note that this is not a piece out to damage or cut down the important role of women in our society. Read below only as humour and nothing more. These are inte |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:26:14 -0500) |
| Humor: 18 Similarities Between Women and Computers |
| Have you ever wondered in what way are women like the computers we have at home? Here, I show you how.
Before you read any further, please note that this is not a piece out to damage or cut down the important role of women in our society. Read below only as humour and nothing more. These are inte |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Fri, 02 Mar 2007 00:40:19 -0500) |
| Dick Cheney Nearly Killed by Pervez Musharraf through Mullah Dadullah |
| Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. The honeymoon and divorce court are two sides of the same coin. The examples are countless in politics and in love. One minute Anna Nicole Smith and Larry Birkhead are lovebirds making a beautiful baby girl and the next minute they are emailing each othe |
| Author: Karen Fish |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 26 Mar 2007 06:40:41 -0400) |
| Passover: Laugh While Cleaning |
| Preparing for Passover involves a thorough house cleaning. While you are doing that, here are some jokes to ease the experience.
Passover, or Pesach as it is called in Hebrew, is the 8 day festival where the Jews celebrate their liberation from Egypt more than a thousand years ago. One of the mos |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 26 Mar 2007 10:12:03 -0400) |
| Leather at its best |
| The doubled leather garments and suits of different leather types should be worn both sides regularly and cleaned simultaneously. The colored sheepskin can lose its color from direct |
| Author: Rachel-Ann Bradley |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 29 Mar 2007 13:09:07 -0400) |
| Jesus Says There is no Hell in the Holy Bible |
| Anna Nicole Smith was a Christian woman. Anna Nicole Smith always wore a cross around her neck. Anna Nicole Smith had a tattoo of Jesus Christ and a cross emblazoned on her lower right leg.
This past Sunday morning, March 25, 2007 Pope Benedict XVI gave a sermon at the St. Felicity and Martyred |
| Author: Karen Fish |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 01 May 2007 16:35:00 -0400) |
| Leather the new Lingerie craze |
| The doubled leather garments and suits of different leather types should be worn both sides regularly and cleaned simultaneously. The colored sheepskin can lose its color from direct |
| Author: Rachel-Ann Bradley |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 20 May 2007 06:56:33 -0400) |
| Why |
| Why do some things happen the way they do. Here, I point out some of the unique conundrums existing on earth.
Many articles supply answers, but here I do not. Here, I ask the questions. If you want to rack your brains for finding the answers to these life conundrums. But, I warn you. Beware. Thes |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 05 Jun 2007 23:24:09 -0400) |
| Adventures in Wally (cash) World |
| I went to walmart 2 nights ago and had a very fun experience. I was going there for a chocolate cake. Cash in hand and ready to rock. That is it. Chocolate cake. Then....my wife calls me and asks me to check her friend's bridal registry and get a bed set for her that is on her list. So, I automatica |
| Author: Doug Gorman |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:10:06 -0400) |
| Women: 12 Secrets of Living |
| Insights into the secret and not so secret lenient indulges of the female mind. Read for a terrific laugh.
Ironic, yes, that is what some would say to the boundaries applied by a woman on their spouses or partners. A woman, though she tries to hold fast against any onslaught by a member of the ma |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Fri, 29 Jun 2007 19:53:21 -0400) |
| Was Jesus found in a California jail? |
| When I first heard the story, I was amazed. For one, I did not know Jesus was lost. It took awhile to get over that one. Second, I was surprised to discover he was in jail, particularly in California. I’m not sure how he got there, and furthermore, I do not know how they recognized him. After all, w |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:43:54 -0400) |
| A Tribute To The Few Who Sacrificed For The Many |
| America has successfully celebrated another Independence Day. I could be corrected in my calculation, but I believe every American celebrated this great holiday in some fashion, with barbecues aplenty along with many firework displays. All government offices, banks and many businesses were closed in |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 11:58:51 -0400) |
| Rent a bridal party (funny) |
| Have you ever been in a wedding party? You probably have in some aspect. How about an outdoor wedding? Let me give a little bit of background on my latest "wedding" experience this past weekend. Of course this wedding was all planned out.
Whatever.
If I am anywhere near anything, everything |
| Author: Doug Gorman |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 19 Aug 2007 12:36:37 -0400) |
| Wally World The Saga Continues |
| I must be a glutton for punishment.
Think I can conquer the monster known as Walmart. Men are thick headed. There ladies I said it. We think we can conquer, fix, or figure out anything. Then we wonder why women go to the bathroom together! To talk about the stupid things their men do!
Why do I |
| Author: Doug Gorman |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:32:38 -0400) |
| Do Not Do This at Home |
| Well ladies and gents, I have once again been humbled. This happened last Saturday. Please don't try this at home. My Father-in-law called and wanted to take our 5 year old to the carnival. I was going to take him, but my Father-in-law wanted my wife to go as well.
So, my wife says, "Do you want |
| Author: Doug Gorman |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:35:57 -0400) |
| Dancing with the Squirrels |
| I was sitting in my chair going through a large cookbook that had belonged to my grandmother when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came into the room.
"Are you reading a cookbook?" she asked.
Let me stop here and just start from the beginning.
It all started several months ago when m |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:30:43 -0400) |
| Why Did I Get Up This Morning? |
| All day long, I've had this burning question in my mind. One of those questions you just cannot shake and as the day progressed, it loomed larger and larger until I had to address it. Personally, I would like to have address it, put a stamp on it and send it to Timbuktu. I just do not know the ZIP c |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:53:36 -0500) |
| What It Takes to Be an Expert on Anything |
| After what seemed like months of a hectic schedule the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly were enjoying a relaxing evening in the parsonage living room catching up on a pile of newspapers. It is amazing to me how much the new news is like the old news, which only increases my admirat |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:12:36 -0500) |
| How and When To Make Humour at Work! |
| A good laugh will do wonders for you as smiling and laughing lowers your stress levels, wins you a friendly reputation, and helps your usually tense co-workers and bosses to relax.
Humour on the job will do a lot for your career, but there are a number of things you need to know about laughter an |
| Author: Lionel Estridge |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 16 Dec 2007 01:48:33 -0500) |
| Strange and Uncanny: Why and How |
| Facts, oddities, incidental details: these are only some of the few things I examine in the following twenty features I have come up with concerning life and all its intricacies. Some will make you laugh, others will make you scratch your chin, but whatever your behaviour, each and every one of thes |
| Author: Jack Reider |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:11:00 -0500) |
| Advice to King Dave of the Isle of Man |
| To HM King David of the Isle of Mann (or Man), cousin to Queen Elizabeth II, come forth, I, your Not-So-Humble Servant to render such Wisdom as I can…
For about ten minutes today, David Howe, a 38 year old businessman from Maryland commanded the front page on FoxNews.Com with the story of his Cor |
| Author: Louis Rosas-Guyon III |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:53:32 -0500) |
| Christmas is over, is Christ packed away too? |
| Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was thankful, not even a mouse.
The stockings were emptied, the candy all eaten
the once live Christmas tree now thoroughly beaten.
The children were bouncing around with glee,
exclaiming over each new toy happily.
And |
| Author: Cynthia Dyer |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 04 May 2008 22:41:28 -0400) |
| Hi Ho, Hi Ho |
| Do you think when they asked Thomas Jefferson for his ID, he just took out a nickel?
- from Musings
I can't, for the life of me, recall how I emerged from the haze of those days. But one (relatively) clear morning, I awoke to the aspiration of leaving substances behind, and a han |
| Author: Josef Graf |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 27 May 2008 20:20:24 -0400) |
| Are You Bold Enough To Wear This? |
| Graffiti, it’s everywhere, the alleyways, the subways and especially the common public bathroom. For as long as people have sat there, they have written or drawn on the walls. ‘For a good time call’…, ‘Here I sit taking a…’, etc, etc. We’ve all read them, laughed at them and even passed some on b |
| Author: Ethan Edwards |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:04:44 -0400) |
| The Law of the Land: |
| The Law of the Land: Well, It Used to Be
The Average American’s Bill of Rights:
1. You have the right to pray to any God if you believe in one. The government will not get in the way unless some anal people get involved. You can say or print any stupid, idiotic thing you want, but beware, some |
| Author: Bear Brooks |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 16 Jul 2008 13:54:15 -0400) |
| Learning Chinese – NOT! |
| When I first came to Taiwan to live I listened to the language and thought to myself, “OK, this doesn’t sound so hard. I have high-school French and German so I already possess some linguistic ability. I can learn this.”
Over the next year or so I worked constantly with an interpreter and never |
| Author: Lance Carr |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:15:22 -0400) |
| Insider Tips On How To Get Free Tickets To The Comedy Club |
| Insider Tips On How To Get Free Tickets To The Comedy Club
While some comedy clubs do not offer any kind of free tickets, many others do. Here are some tips to help you get on the comp list of your favorite comedy club.
You have to understand that the club will not give tickets away to a so |
| Author: Mike Stand |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:19:59 -0400) |
| Give The Gift of Laughter This Holiday Season |
| Give the gift of Laughter This Holiday Season
With all the problems and strife in the world it is important to take a step back once and a while and lighten up a little. This is a great time for a funny or gag gift at the office or holiday party. Some of the most creative minds in comedy have |
| Author: Mike Stand |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 06 Nov 2008 09:18:47 -0500) |
| Recently Discovered Addiction |
| There is a new addiction that has only recently been discovered, although it has been plaguing us for some time now. It seems preposterous this addiction has remained hidden for so long with all the professionals earning their livings diagnosing and treating addictions. This may, or may not, be due |
| Author: DK Publishers |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sat, 08 Nov 2008 23:14:03 -0500) |
| THE SHORT AND SORRY SAGE OF STOLEN VALUABE DOMAIN NAME LOOK.COM |
| 'THE SHORT AND SORRY SAGA OF LOOK.COM''
This is an article of interest to anyone who owns a website, particularly if it is valuable. The idea that it can never be stolen is misplaced. The idea that justice will prevail if you do not have the financial means for a proper lawyer is also misp |
| Author: Cliff Livingstone |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Thu, 18 Dec 2008 08:22:28 -0500) |
| Easy Magic Tricks For You |
| You can already be familiar with many names that are popular in the field of performing magic tricks. The people who are interested in the performance of these tricks are unlimited so you can simply think of the possibility for you to make yourself popular when you can also perform magic tricks in f |
| Author: Eliza Maeledevic |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sat, 17 Jan 2009 23:20:09 -0500) |
| World's Funniest Blonde Joke |
| A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear |
| Author: james b |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:29:03 -0500) |
| Realistic masks that fit just like in the movies |
| latex horror masks,halloween masks and the home of the realistic masks that fool your friends and fit just like in the movies! www.merlinsltd.com Came across this fantastic site great for mask fans realistic masks, horror masks, and scary latex masks, and the home of 'Real face changing masks' that |
| Author: Jeff Burn |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:24:01 -0400) |
| Homer J Simpson - The True Life Guru |
| They say the words of a great sage make you stop and reflect upon both them and your life. Can there be any doubt that the words of one Homer J. Simpson meet this test? Just consider the following if you have any doubts whatsoever.
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up to |
| Author: Michael Swengel |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:02:19 -0400) |
| Why Do We Laugh At Other People? |
| What makes us laugh? What is funny to you and what is funny to other people? Is your sense of humor clean and "politically correct" or is it crass or would you describe it in another way?
The things that make us laugh are countless. Comedies, books, cartoons, comedians and all of which can tell a |
| Author: Nick Jones |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:24:56 -0400) |
| How To Avoid a Lengthy Jail Term for a Minor Traffic Offence |
| Avoid eye contact with your persecutor at all times, this is a must to avoid unwanted giggles, a respectful countenance should suffice, we are not in Russia.
The Practice of self-abuse, though an erstwhile pastime for teenage boys and lonely computer programmers, is not acceptable in a court of la |
| Author: Alejandro Heels |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:14:28 -0400) |
| Now that I'm older, I'm still not wiser |
| Now that summer is over and the children are back in school I found myself indulging in a little bit of retrospective thinking. It took some doing but I was able to think all the back to when I was a youngster and heading for school myself.
One of the things that struck me was some of the wonder |
| Author: James L. Snyder |
| Directory:Humor |
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| (Published: Wed, 23 Dec 2009 10:09:26 -0500) |
| How To Recieve Compliments |
| The last time I visited New Orleans, I walked into a jewelry boutique in the French Quarter and was recognized by the silversmith proprietor. Not because, by coincidence, I had once been his down-the-street neighbor. Because my Alison Designs necklace had caught his attention when we passed on the s |
| Author: The WordWire |
| Directory:Humor |
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