Emotional abuse can be defined as the systematic tearing down of another human being through such methods as rejection, isolation, terrorizing, put downs, and more. Most people don't consider emotional abuse a serious matter, they think of it as one form of misunderstanding in a relationship. They also think that it only qualifies as abuse when a woman is punched or slapped around. Unfortunately, the wounds from verbal abuse can run just as deep and take longer to heal than the black eyes and bruises of physical abuse.
When a person endures such behavior for a prolonged period of time, they can become a shadow of their former selves. The bad thing about emotional abuse is that it is gradual, so much so that the woman involved may not even realize that she is a victim of abuse. Everything may look normal, but the relationship just isn't right.
What most people don't understand is that an emotionally abusive relationship doesn't start out that way. In the beginning, your partner was probably caring and attentive, sweeping you off your feet. Once you were convinced that "he was the one, things slowly began to change. Maybe there was a little comment about the house being dusty, so you made a mental note to always keep the house clean. Maybe he just picked at his food, so you began to go out of your way to only cook what he liked.
Over time, you began to shift your focus from your needs to keeping the peace and making him happy. This isn't necessarily a bad thing to an extent; we all try to do things to please our mate. It becomes a problem when your whole focus in life revolves around keeping him happy. Your relationship becomes dysfunctional when you begin to feel that everything wrong in the relationship is your fault and that if you can somehow fix your flaws, then everything will be okay.
When you begin to believe that you aren't good enough, smart enough, or just aren't plain "enough" for your partner; you begin to lose all sense of yourself. It no longer matters what you want out of life, and you've forgotten what it means to be happy. You end up being a robot; merely surviving from day to day as you feelings become numb from dealing with the emotional abuse.
Here are some things to consider to determine of your relationship is heading towards emotional abuse.
The main issues in your relationship always remains unresolved.
You quit bringing up subjects to discuss with your partner because you think nothings going to change.
You feel that you are the one who should do everything just to find peace in the relationship.
You cannot express your opinions freely because youre afraid it might be wrong or it may trigger his anger.
You are holding yourself not to get angry because you dont want to pick a fight with him.
You give in to his sexual demands just to gain peace.
You do all ways to please him but in the end you still get unnoticed?
You are being blamed for his misfortunes in life?
You are always told to clean the house.
You are being blamed for him having his affairs with other woman because he said you are not meeting his needs.
You live on a strict budget but he spends his money freely with everything he wants without considering you.
You feel like you're not an equal partner; that his needs and wants always come first
You always think that he is right and you are wrong.
You often feel like you're just not good enough.
He say I love you but
, making his love conditional on something you do or don't do.
He often has outbursts over trivial things.
You find yourself second-guessing your every move so that you don't anger him.
He continually questions where you've been, who you were with, and whether you're having an affair.
He makes snide remarks and rude comments about your close friends and family.
If you experience these things you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship. You probably feel a sort of emptiness and unhappiness about life in general. While everything may look normal on the outside, the continual struggle to be perfect and keep your man happy is probably wearing you down.
If emotional abuse plays a part in your relationship, you need to remind yourself that you aren't to blame for the situation. You deserve just as much happiness and stability in your life as your partner does. Seek help from friends and other counseling centers if you need to get advice about your relationship.
About the Author:
This article may be used for reprint as long as authors bio and live link are included.
Christine Bettridge has loved writing since early childhood. She has written plays, poetry and many articles on various subjects. Her recent e-book just released by Cypress Street Publishing End Time Secrets, can be found at http://endtimesecrets.com
Emotional Abuse
